Short Jokes! Esturyahi!!!

...bugtong...


Ayan na ayan na dipa makita..

Sagot : ...Tanga!


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Minsan...
naisip ko na tumigil na sa pag-inom ng alak.
Pero minsan ko lang naisip yun.
...Di ko na inulit!
Tagay Pa!


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Doc : Nurse, nasaan na un sunod kong pasyente?

Nurse : Doc pinauwi ko na po, masama daw pakiramdam nya eh.

^_^

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MMDA(With pen and ticket)to a traffic violator

MMDA:Name..?

FOREIGNER DRIVER:Wilhelm von Congrinski Papakovitz..
...
MMDA:Ahhh..next time be careful while driving huh..

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JOHN:Pare may kumakalat na tsismis na may bading raw dito sa dorm natin..

BEN:Huh.! Cno..??

JOHN:Sasabihin q sau pero kiss muna..

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MOTHER SUPERIOR:Hala,lumayas ka d2 sa kumbento..

MADRE:Bakit po,dahil po ba sa paggamit q ng vibrator..??

MOTHER SUPERIOR:Hindi..Ayoko lng na may naki2alam ng mga gamit q..!!

Katawa Napud! Esturyahi!!!

 Boy; hulog ka ba ng langit?

Girl: asus..saba diha! karaan na kau
ng linyaha..

...boy: ky nalumping man gud imong nawong.

haha..

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Reporter: Naa ta karon sa usa ka balay na nasunog og karon atong habi habi-on ang tag-iya sa balay.

Reporter: Ikaw ba ang tag-iya aning balaya?

Tag-iya: Ako man.

Reporter: Kabalo baka kung unsay sinugdanan sa sunog?

Tag-iya: Kabalo man.

Reporter: Unsa man?

Tag-iya: Kalayo!

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Question and answer portion!

Host: Miss Bulgaria!

Miss Bulgaria: Yes?

Host: How old are you?

Miss Bulgaria: Im 20 years old.

Host: What would you be expecting after 5 years?

Miss Bulgaria: I`d be 25.

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PEDRO: Juan, dri ta agi uh!

JUAN: unsay pnan.aw nmu nko? bugok? hoy!..

FIRE EXIT na dha!..dha mogawas ang kalayo!

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NANAY: ayusin mo kama mo!

ANAK: nay, magugulo lng yan ulit, bkt ko pa
aayusin? pra lng akong ngmhal tpos mssktan lng muli..

Nanay: char, nagdrama ang tapolan!

Best jokes :-p : Esturyahi!!!

BOY: prangkahi ko ha bayhana ka!prangkahi jud q! duha nko kabuwan nanguyab nmo! sugton ko nmo o dli?!
GIRL: DILI ky maot kag nawong!
BOY: ah! prangka rapod kaU ka oi?!...

 Tagam! haha

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Russian :We were the first in space.
American :We were the first in the moon.
Filipino :We will be the first in the sun.
American : No, you cannot land in the sun. It’s too hot!
Filipino :It’s very simple. We will go there at night.

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Babae: May lisenxa ka ba?
LaLaki: oo naman, bakit?
Babae: kasi, you're driving me crazy.

naks! pagdrive nalang ug Esturyahi! LoL

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LaLaki: waLa ka bang baLak mag warm up?
Babae: bakit naman ako magwawarm up?
LaLaki: kasi tatakbo ka mamaya sa isipan ko.

eeew pwede dagani'g Esturyahi?!

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10 QUOTABLE QUOTES:

1. better late than pregnant.
2. pag may tyaga, gud luck!
3. aanhin pa ang damo, kung mukha kang kabayo?
4. pag binato ka ng bato, kawawa ka naman.
5. ...kung may isinuksok, may mabubuntis!
6. 8's better to give, much better to receive.
7. cleanliness is next to godliness. Oiliness is next to blemishes.
8. ang taong naglalakad na matulin, pawisin.
9. pagkahaba-haba ng prusisyon, mauubusan din ng kandila.
10. honesty…is such a lonely word.

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Nagtalo ang mga hudyo at instik kung sino ang nauna sa mundo.

Hudyo: kami, dahil kami ang nagpaku kay Hesus sa krus!
Instik: aber, saan hardware kayo bili pako?

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Promoter: Misis, kapag pinaghalo ang breeze at tide, bubula kaya?
Misis: aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bakit naman?
Promoter: Dahil walang tubig.

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Q: Ano ang sinabi ni Satanas nang ipanganak AKO?
A: “Lintek! Isa na namang anghel ang ipinanganak.”
Q: Ano naman ang sinabi niya nang ipanganak KA?
A: “Oh, no! Hindi puwede ito! Ayoko pang mag-retire!”

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1 night, lolo pulls a girl
sa kasagingan..

grl: kahit mahubaran ngo ako, u cannot rape me..
susumpong lng rayuma nyo..
...
lolo: watch me..nag flanax yata ako..

HAHAHA!!..

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my motto 4 today bow..

aanhin pa ang pgging artista..

kung ang ka kising scene nman ay c aling
...dionisia..

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A guy visits his dying Chinese girl friend
at d hospital. D Chinese girl said "Hong Pi Chik" den die. D guy went
all d way to China to find d meaning of his friend's last w0rd. And he
... was sh0ck 2 kn0w d real meaning.

"WAG MO
TAPAKAN ANG OXYGEN"

Ngek? =/

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Peter Pan once said that wen y0u cLose ur eyes and THINK 0f what y0u
ever wanted t0 have, u'L FLY..

but h0w cUm when I think 0f
y0u,
...
i FALL ?

Esturyahi!!!....

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 Mom : anak lu2in m0 2ng gulay..

Anak : mmaya n gngwa ko pa 2ng saranggola..

Mom : punyeta bkt mkakain mu b ung saranggola mu?.!
......
Anak:hndi bkt lilipad b ynggulay mu?!..

Mom:hndi..

Anak:hndi pla eh.. umayos k nay kung ayaw mung kw pliparin ko...XD

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Nagtanong ang teacher kay juan

Teacher:juan anung hayop ang nagsisimula sa letter k
Juan:mam kuto po
Teacher:hindi!! nagtatapos ito sa letter w
Juan:mam alam ko na kutow
...Teacher:hindi!! Pang lupa ito
Juan:mam alam ko na po kutow lupa
Teacher:hindi!! May sungay toh
Juan:mam dimonyong kutow,,,,,,,